I am so close to losing it

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I took a video of myself and it was worse than anticipated... Much much worse. I though using a second mirror to look at my profile would be a true reflections of what I am to others, LIES, a quick video no longer than a few seconds exposed what I truly am, a sight which frightens me.

I remember several times in my youth where I was on the brink of death due to illness, some call it natural selection, some called it injustice, I call it mercy.....

My family, those doctors and those nurses, what did they save on that fateful day? I was a child no older than 5, death wasn't even a concept I understood then, I did not even know I was at heavens gates, so close to an eternity of bliss but yet they chose another path for me, and this one is much colder than the clutches of death could ever be...

My surgery list keeps getting longer and my time is getting shorter, it is an impossible battle, like a hydra with one head slain two more takes its place, with one flaw I fix I find many more....

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O'my desolate soul
In my desolate home
It's my desolate role
I'm here all alone

dude what? Just chill your cunt out, play some Path of Exile, jack off to some shemale porn, and start working on making some extra money online doing freelance shit or something. Then from there, take a bus ride to Tijuana and bang 10 hot mexican prostitutes. The whole trip will cost you less than a 1000 dollars, and that is a round trip bus ticket, hotel room for a few days, and 2 hot prostitutes per day. Not bad, eh?

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