https://answers.yahoo.com/question/inde ... 655AAUdlO9
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. He is the serious/logical type of person who hardly cracks a joke, but is still very affectionate towards me, and I love him a lot for that. I just wanted him to loosen up a bit, so I asked him if we could go out drinking together. He blatantly refused. He said he's been sober for 5 years after the first time he was drunk and discovered he was a really bad drunk...
That really perked my curiosity. I asked him what happened, but he didn't answer properly... He just kept repeating something along the lines of this: "Lets just say when I'm drunk, I'm no longer in control... I'm never going to drink alcohol again after that first time 5 years ago, even if it was you begging me to do so... Most importantly, I don't want you to see me like that..."
Now I was majorly curious. I then turned to his childhood best friend, who is a major chatterbox, so I can always get embarrassing information from him about my boyfriend. But strangely, he wouldn't budge either! He said he swore to never talk again about 'that incident.' Now I had to know, and I like to think I'm fairly intelligent, so I figured the best way to do this is to get my boyfriend drunk to see firsthand!
I finally got the chance to serve him an alcoholic beverage at home and I told him it had no alcohol in it. Just in case, I filled up an empty non-alcoholic labelled bottle with it, but he didn't even ask to see it, because he trusts me. It was strange, he was changing slightly with every sip, I kept topping it up so I'm not sure how much I gave him until I stopped. I thought he was becoming more open...
I decided to test him. There was one thing I really wanted to know, he caught me flirting with another man during our first year together, and I wanted to know if he was even angry about it (he didn't show any emotion). So I asked about the flirting, and suddenly, out of nowhere, he slapped me in the face, hard enough to disorientate me. He hit me.
I was in shock for a few seconds! He has never ever done anything like that to me before! Then when I realized what happened, I turned to him and was about to retaliate in anger, but paused when I noticed the tears running down his face, and the devastated look he gave me. I was surprised he still had so much emotion over a small thing that happened 2 years ago, I don't understand... he didn't show anything after he caught me flirting.
Suddenly, he pushed me forcefully towards the wall, and then we did it, then and there. It was rough and angry. I felt sick when I realized he was just taking pleasure from my body without any regard to me as a human being. I screamed to him to stop... but he wouldn't. Who was this monster? It was definitely not the same person who has held me for the last 3 years... He raped me.
The next morning, I woke up first in our bed. He was asleep, normally I would stay in bed as it never gets old watching him silently as he sleeps. But now I just felt vile even being anywhere near him, so I got up and went to the bathroom. I inspected the damage, the bruise left on my check because of that man. I was so angry when I saw it, how could this man who said he 'loves' me do this to me!?
I marched to our room and woke him up so I could give him a piece of my mind. I was about to start lecturing him, when he suddenly raised his hand towards me. I flinched back instinctively, but froze in confusion when I realized he was just gently rubbing my bruised cheek. He asked me what happened, his voice was filled with worry and concern. My anger was defused almost immediately... He had completely forgotten what had happened last night.
I don't know why I did it, but I said that I got the bruise when I accidentally fell down. Perhaps I am hoping he would change. Perhaps I want to forgive and forget. Perhaps I blame myself for the incident. But now that it has happened to me, I read a lot of case studies on domestic abuse and rape victims to inform myself. And I slowly realized it is not my fault, it is his! You should never raise your hand to a woman! My anger is building again, I feel like I can't get over the crime he committed against me! It's disgusting he doesn't even remember! He should suffer with guilt! Should I tell him what he did and then leave him?!