I'm 48-yo man just married a 38-yo woman. Sad development: my new wife refused to use my sperm in IUI and wants to go to sperm bank!!!
I'm very healthy wrt PE results: all index/parameters are in ranges, and all diseases are negative. Non-smoker, non-drinker, college professor. Parents are in their early 80s and largely healthy. My sperm analysis: good counts (50-100 million/ml), normal volume (2-3 ml), only motiity is a bit low: used to be 20-45%, recently 10-20%, but doctors said it still sufficient for IUI.
But my wife started a fiasco: she found online that father's age could be a factor of misccariage, and became over-concerned, and wanted to use sperm bank rather than my sperm. I look online and traced most news down to three articles, and obtained two of them from library databases. Fact? Yes and No. Yes: men in late 30s-40s indeed would contribute to increased miscarriage. No? - that's compared to men in age group 25-29. Hey get real: my wife at her age of 38,m would most likely marry a man in 38-45, and there's no reason she wouldn't have baby with this father, if all health indicators (disease, blood, chromosome) are normal. I can say that "OK, being 48, I might be 1-2% higher in risk of contributing to miscarriage than a man in 38-43" (I got the idea from ananlysis of the research articles I read). But my wife is so unreasonable that for those 2% risk she REFUSED to conceive a baby with her husband,and insists on going to sperm bank to use the donor sperm, then we would have a baby with a "faceless father"!!
Is she obssed or over-concerned? I'm so DESPERATELY in need for help and support: (1) Shouldn't I be given my fair husband's right of conceiving my own child with my own wife? (2) What's the basic guidelines for a doctor to recommend donor sperm to a couple (such as hubby no sperm, DNA defects, under radiology damage, with infectious diseases, etc. - what more for a doctor to ask a husband to step aside and a wife to go to sperm bank)?
PLEASE HELP! My famnily is at the verge of collapsing, because my wife is determined to do sperm bank and if I still dont agree she'll divorce me (!!!!!) I really need people's help very urgently! Either from medical point of view, or from social norms or common sense - I need to bring my wife to scientific and social relaity and norms, so that she's not that crazy.
http://forums.webmd.com/3/pregnancy-aft ... /forum/413
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