Lurker, good looking with social anxiety

Share your experiences with the opposite sex. Suggest ways to improve your success. Analyze the behavior of females in real life and online. Rant and rave about females. Show the importance of looks pertaining to attracting females and other social situations. Discuss aesthetics and the science of attractiveness. Exchange health, nutrition and looksmaxing tips.

Member from BB forums here, found out about this site throuh the misc. Just figured I would share my experiences as a good looking guy with social anxiety here.

First of, Im speaking the pure truth here, I would assume some of you wont believe me, but I can assure you that guys who are good looking reading this will relate, cause I have noticed a fair share amount of good looking members here.

Im what you would call a somewhat good looking guy. Im 6'0, chiseled jawline, good symmetry, vertical eye shape and brows pointing downwards. During all my years from 14 til 22 today Ive been called handsome and good looking by peers, family, friends and girls online.

However, Im suffering from some form of social anxiety, even If Its not that bad. Im not diagnosed, but I just seldom feel comfortable in social situations, even with close friends. I always feel like the spot light is on me, Im very often self consious and It feels like the cameras are pointing my way, making me micromanage my own behaviour very often.

Im not sure why this is, exactly. I have good hormone levels, Ive never got my self esteem crushed, or not more than anyone else I assume. Its just how I am, Its how my mind work.

Let me tell you this, being nervous in social situations is affecting my luck with girls tremendously. I just cannot tell how many times Ive seen them being interested in me from just looking at me, but when they can sense Im nervous and lack social finesse, Its like switch. They lose interest on the spot. It is almost scary to see how they literally hate weird social behaviour. I mean, I dont give a fuck if a hot chick is a little weird, I just find it cute. Girls however, they are literally like another specie. They do NOT tolerate it, they will go from interested til none-interested in a split second If they can sense your self consiousness and nervousness.

I just cannot tell you how many chanses with girls Ive screwed up by being nervous, you can literally go from a god in their eyes to fucking dirt in one minute.

If I didnt have this anxiety, Im very sure I would do great with girls. Cause initially they often give me alot of interest, stare at me, smile and are nice to me but when they see me stumbling my words, doing weird self consious facial expressions the interest stop, immediately.

Looks do help for sure, but If you have no cool personality to show for it, you are done. It is very hard for me to get girls, they always seem to clinge to the most loud guys. These guys are almost always good looking for sure, but they are also cool. They have low inhibition levels, when they talk people shut the fuck up and listen to them. But when I talk people talk over me, like they almost cant hear me even If I speak with a good loud voice.

Having social anxiety with fuck up so much of your social and dating life, Its not a joke, It will kill it. I will probably get on some drugs to try get rid of It cause Its slowly killing me.

Im not sure what I wanted to have said here, more than Its nothing more draining than knowing you could get so much pussy If you werent a social wreck. GIrls have so fucking high standards today, Its not enough being good looking, you need to be a social butterfly as well, extroverted, popular and in the cool crowd. Being socially unskilled will make them lose respect for you very very fast and Its just obvious, Ive experienced it so many times now Its almost like a rule for me.

I think that is also what some good looking members on this site are suffering from, and thats why they have very little luck with the ladies. Not only do you have to look good, you have to be charismatic and funny, social and popular.

Ive tried online dating aswell, I get dates easily and Ive actually managed to fuck 2 girls from it while meeting them drunk, but Ive also fucked up about 10 situations at least cause I was so nervous meeting them, Its like they just dry up instantly and just wanna be friends.

Well thats about it.



PostThis post by Zyzz was deleted by puanewb on Tue Mar 03, 2015 9:41 pm.
Reason: requested



I believe you OP. Girls are social creatures. A social awquard male, with social anxiety and unable to heard by his peers is not a good match for them. They need both looks and social dominance, or at least normalcy, to be genuinely and supremely attracted.
Yes, of course. Being ugly is just playing life on veteran mode all around. Guys treat you like shit and try to dominate you. Girls see you as a creepy rapist/killer for asking the time of day. The worst thing is constantly having society turn around and point the finger at you, "your personality is the problem" "no one wants to be around negative people". Truly sickening.



charlesbubba wrote:I believe you OP. Girls are social creatures. A social awquard male, with social anxiety and unable to heard by his peers is not a good match for them. They need both looks and social dominance, or at least normalcy, to be genuinely and supremely attracted.


Yes I agree with you. I think you need to be good looking yourself to understand this. Ive seen lots of pictures on here by members who are for sure good looking, I would hope they could give their view on it cause Im sure they are actually suffering from some kind of social anxiety as well.

Listen, It doesnt even have to be severe, mine is everything but severe but being just a little bit off will make most girls lose interest in you.

Social skills are of tremendous importance, If you cannot act atleast normal in social settings you are up for a very rough ride and Im so very sure there are others in here who can relate and most likely agree with that statement.

Ranger wrote:Without pics we don't know if you are good looking ,maybe you just think you are good looking and you are not


I wont post pictures due to personal reasons. Just go by with what I say, I have very good facial features.

Tyroon wrote:
charlesbubba wrote:I believe you OP. Girls are social creatures. A social awquard male, with social anxiety and unable to heard by his peers is not a good match for them. They need both looks and social dominance, or at least normalcy, to be genuinely and supremely attracted.


Yes I agree with you. I think you need to be good looking yourself to understand this. Ive seen lots of pictures on here by members who are for sure good looking, I would hope they could give their view on it cause Im sure they are actually suffering from some kind of social anxiety as well.

Listen, It doesnt even have to be severe, mine is everything but severe but being just a little bit off will make most girls lose interest in you.

Social skills are of tremendous importance, If you cannot act atleast normal in social settings you are up for a very rough ride and Im so very sure there are others in here who can relate and most likely agree with that statement.


Our local greaseball Bri0 is an example. He is by far more good looking that many people I've seen getting laid, yet he also is a supreme gentleman and therefore is success with the ladies (lmao) is autismal.

charlesbubba wrote:
Tyroon wrote:
Yes I agree with you. I think you need to be good looking yourself to understand this. Ive seen lots of pictures on here by members who are for sure good looking, I would hope they could give their view on it cause Im sure they are actually suffering from some kind of social anxiety as well.

Listen, It doesnt even have to be severe, mine is everything but severe but being just a little bit off will make most girls lose interest in you.

Social skills are of tremendous importance, If you cannot act atleast normal in social settings you are up for a very rough ride and Im so very sure there are others in here who can relate and most likely agree with that statement.


Our local greaseball Bri0 is an example. He is by far more good looking that many people I've seen getting laid, yet he also is a supreme gentleman and therefore is success with the ladies (lmao) is autismal.


You mind posting a pictures of him or linking me to a thread?

welcome to aspie male models.com

sounds like you'll fit right in here

Nice, I made a thread a few days ago about how I fucked up a golden opportunity with a girl coz of social anxiety, dat feel

Tyroon wrote:
charlesbubba wrote:
Our local greaseball Bri0 is an example. He is by far more good looking that many people I've seen getting laid, yet he also is a supreme gentleman and therefore is success with the ladies (lmao) is autismal.


You mind posting a pictures of him or linking me to a thread?


viewtopic.php?f=2&t=48927
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=39382

Why is there always a common disclaimer. "Oh im not from here, and i know you wont believe me".

This is a clear sentence from someone who has been here and knows what to say to sluthaters.

Also, its always someone saying they are good looking. Trolls, try a little harder.
sephon wrote:pressure on nose is actually legit though since I have photo proof. It's deformed even more since I posted. I also left it for 10 mins and it did not deform back, though that's probably not enough time. I will post final results before and after I sleep.

charlesbubba wrote:
Tyroon wrote:
You mind posting a pictures of him or linking me to a thread?


viewtopic.php?f=2&t=48927
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=39382


Image


Not surprised. I actually think he looks a little bit better than me, but what do you know, he is having problem with girls aswell I assume?

I remember seeing a guy here with great hollow cheeks and cheekbones, not remembering the name but that guy was really good looking too and got basicly nothing.

I think many guys here need to accept this, cause its so much true. You really need to be socially savvy or atleast normal, If you're not girls simply wont be interested, Its basicly just how things work.

I mean, the guy you posted, Imagine him being talkative, very forward, egocentric and loud? That guy would get so much pussy I cant almost even think about it. But instead he is what, a virgin?

BrickTamland wrote:Why is there always a common disclaimer. "Oh im not from here, and i know you wont believe me".

This is a clear sentence from someone who has been here and knows what to say to sluthaters.

Also, its always someone saying they are good looking. Trolls, try a little harder.


Believe whatever you want.

Good post. I thought it was very accurate. The part about feeling like cameras are on you struck a cord with me. I'm the exact same way. I'm always thinking everyone is paying attention to my every little movement or action. And it makes me pay so much attention to myself that I can't truly fit in around others.

My social anxiety swings around a lot. Some days i'll feel great and uninhibited, and I'll do great with girls. Other days its back in full force and I'll feel like chicks lose immediate interest as soon as I start interacting with them. Even when they were nothing but smiles when I first walked up. Its really frustrating to know how much better I could be doing with girls if it wasn't for something in my head holding me back.

If you figure out how to fix it let me know!

Tyroon wrote:


Image


Not surprised. I actually think he looks a little bit better than me, but what do you know, he is having problem with girls aswell I assume?

I remember seeing a guy here with great hollow cheeks and cheekbones, not remembering the name but that guy was really good looking too and got basicly nothing.

I think many guys here need to accept this, cause its so much true. You really need to be socially savvy or atleast normal, If you're not girls simply wont be interested, Its basicly just how things work.

I mean, the guy you posted, Imagine him being talkative, very forward, egocentric and loud? That guy would get so much pussy I cant almost even think about it. But instead he is what, a virgin?


As far as I know he has recently lost his virginity to a hooker. What can I say my fellow man,what you say is legit. Looks are everything for socially adjusted normal people. Looks can save a good looking, somewhat shy man. Halo effect can create the sembiance of a good "personality" and "social skills". But in the case of people with more serious problems looks don't go much far.

Spartacus wrote:Good post. I thought it was very accurate. The part about feeling like cameras are on you struck a cord with me. I'm the exact same way. I'm always thinking everyone is paying attention to my every little movement or action. And it makes me pay so much attention to myself that I can't truly fit in around others.

My social anxiety swings around a lot. Some days i'll feel great and uninhibited, and I'll do great with girls. Other days its back in full force and I'll feel like chicks lose immediate interest as soon as I start interacting with them. Even when they were nothing but smiles when I first walked up. Its really frustrating to know how much better I could be doing with girls if it wasn't for something in my head holding me back.

If you figure out how to fix it let me know!


The thing is, people are probably not, in reality, paying much attention to you from the beginning. But by you (or me) being so self consious, they eventually do start paying attention to you, cause you come across a little weird. So it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I can relate with the anxiety swinging around. Its probably 80% bad days, 10% good days and 10% neutral. On the good days people are so nice to me, including girls. But on the bad days I often get threated almost like I dont even exist, in social situations.

Do you think there is some kind of therapy for this? Or like changing your beliefs which results in changing your behaviours or something, I would really need that.

Thing is, Its not really social skills, I mean I can talk and all that, but Its mainly the anxiousness that screws it all up. When Im self consious Its like my social IQ goes down 30 points :(

Rolex wrote:LOL

Where's the good looking guy?

Oh wait :lol: :lol:


Can you honestly say the guy above is not good looking, brio?

Tyroon wrote:
Rolex wrote:LOL

Where's the good looking guy?

Oh wait :lol: :lol:


Can you honestly say the guy above is not good looking, brio?

Im talking about you, Brio is good looking and ive called him a 5/10 before but im just trolling

Brio is a 6.5-7/10, but you posted no pics so you're automatically a 0

Tyroon wrote:The thing is, people are probably not, in reality, paying much attention to you from the beginning. But by you (or me) being so self consious, they eventually do start paying attention to you, cause you come across a little weird. So it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I can relate with the anxiety swinging around. Its probably 80% bad days, 10% good days and 10% neutral. On the good days people are so nice to me, including girls. But on the bad days I often get threated almost like I dont even exist, in social situations.

Do you think there is some kind of therapy for this? Or like changing your beliefs which results in changing your behaviours or something, I would really need that.

Thing is, Its not really social skills, I mean I can talk and all that, but Its mainly the anxiousness that screws it all up. When Im self consious Its like my social IQ goes down 30 points :(


Thats about my ratio too for good days. Just imagine how it must feel for the people who are sociable and "on" for 100% of their days. I know no ones life is always great, but I do know some people who are just always outgoing, uninhibited and talkative. Must be nice!

There may be ways to improve. I've made huge gains since I was a kid. I used to have such bad social anxiety that I literally couldn't walk into a restaurant and order food. I wasn't able to make eye contact at all, with pretty much anyone, much less a pretty girl. Now days I'm more in the normal range, just a very quite normal. I'm not too sure if its possible to get much better than that though. I think i've maxed out my gains so to speak. If you weren't ever that bad though you may still be able to improve.

Spartacus wrote:
Tyroon wrote:The thing is, people are probably not, in reality, paying much attention to you from the beginning. But by you (or me) being so self consious, they eventually do start paying attention to you, cause you come across a little weird. So it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I can relate with the anxiety swinging around. Its probably 80% bad days, 10% good days and 10% neutral. On the good days people are so nice to me, including girls. But on the bad days I often get threated almost like I dont even exist, in social situations.

Do you think there is some kind of therapy for this? Or like changing your beliefs which results in changing your behaviours or something, I would really need that.

Thing is, Its not really social skills, I mean I can talk and all that, but Its mainly the anxiousness that screws it all up. When Im self consious Its like my social IQ goes down 30 points :(


Thats about my ratio too for good days. Just imagine how it must feel for the people who are sociable and "on" for 100% of their days. I know no ones life is always great, but I do know some people who are just always outgoing, uninhibited and talkative. Must be nice!

There may be ways to improve. I've made huge gains since I was a kid. I used to have such bad social anxiety that I literally couldn't walk into a restaurant and order food. I wasn't able to make eye contact at all, with pretty much anyone, much less a pretty girl. Now days I'm more in the normal range, just a very quite normal. I'm not too sure if its possible to get much better than that though. I think i've maxed out my gains so to speak. If you weren't ever that bad though you may still be able to improve.


I was at a birthday party at my older sis today. Her kid is turning 15 and he is so god damn unhibited and outgoing, I just cannot understand it. He gets home and instantly comes into the kitchen where we are, he starts screaming 'I just want ice cream where is the god damn ice cream!!" with everyone, friends and family sitting there talking by the kitchen table. He doesnt give a damn, starts laughing and tells my younger brother hes starting to get fat, instantly the center of attention, very low inhibited and you can just see how he is in his own little world and dont micro manage things. It seems to be so free and nice.

Ofcourse he gets girls aswell, he is fucking 14 years old and probably has more sexual experience than me now, he showed me his facebook conversations with girls, It was literally like 40 different girls from school he talked to on a weekly basis. And Im much more better looking than him, so It feels very frustrating I must say.

Give me some shit to get rid of the anxiety and Im sure I would do pretty well.

You aren't as good looking as you think you are. Your fear of posting your pic here is just a way to protect your coping mechanism.

Social anxiety & good looks are mutually exclusive. Everyting a good looking person says or does is halo'd by the FACE. The endless positive feedback from their external environment makes it impossible to be anti-social, nervous, etc...
Eww face?
Know your place.
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