Dating can be psychologically damaging

Share your experiences with the opposite sex. Suggest ways to improve your success. Analyze the behavior of females in real life and online. Rant and rave about females. Show the importance of looks pertaining to attracting females and other social situations. Discuss aesthetics and the science of attractiveness. Exchange health, nutrition and looksmaxing tips.

You can drastically reduce your flake rates by:
- being tall
- being good-looking
- having a full head of hair
- being white
- calling other guys creepy or awkward to distinguish yourself and shit on your own gender (for some fucked up reason being a white knight Uncle Tim faggot works)
- only being interested in a relationship and running love game
- having your own place and a good job
- being normal and having active social life

You can see by this list I've eliminated probably 90% of guys. You wonder why flake rates are so high? That's because women are using the same checklist.



PUA4Life wrote:You can drastically reduce your flake rates by:
- being tall
- being good-looking
- having a full head of hair
- being white
- calling other guys creepy or awkward to distinguish yourself and shit on your own gender (for some fucked up reason being a white knight Uncle Tim faggot works)
- only being interested in a relationship and running love game
- having your own place and a good job
- being normal and having active social life

You can see by this list I've eliminated probably 90% of guys. You wonder why flake rates are so high? That's because women are using the same checklist.


Check to all except calling other guys creepy. I'm decent looking though (maybe not objectively good looking)

Watmate wrote:
PUA4Life wrote:You can drastically reduce your flake rates by:
- being tall
- being good-looking
- having a full head of hair
- being white
- calling other guys creepy or awkward to distinguish yourself and shit on your own gender (for some fucked up reason being a white knight Uncle Tim faggot works)
- only being interested in a relationship and running love game
- having your own place and a good job
- being normal and having active social life

You can see by this list I've eliminated probably 90% of guys. You wonder why flake rates are so high? That's because women are using the same checklist.


Check to all except calling other guys creepy. I'm decent looking though (maybe not objectively good looking)


Have you ever tried it though? If you find a situation where a guy could be considered creepy in her eyes and joke about it she will respond positively. It's what women do with each other anyways -- talk shit about guys they aren't attracted to and enjoy their sense of selectivity. In her mind it makes her think you are more socially suave (like she supposedly is by the mere fact she is a female).

Personally I think it's all bullshit and usually the guy isn't that bad at all but this is how women think.

Fabie wrote:
Norwood Cemetery wrote:Fixed it for you, bud. Monumentally strong first post by the way.



no

warped was right,
if a girl accepts a date with you then flake, it's not your looks,it's something about you/ your personality/ the girl can't connect with you/ she finds you are not her type/she is turned off

once a girl accepts a date is because she is partially interested/ you passed the looks test
when a girl accepts a date she will be not expecting you to be a millionaire, she have been calculated your M value before


Lol, girls have tons of dates. They compare his loooks with other guys and decide. Especially if he s boring, it s over.
Last edited by whateverthefuck on Mon Nov 10, 2014 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.



PUA4Life wrote:
Watmate wrote:
Check to all except calling other guys creepy. I'm decent looking though (maybe not objectively good looking)


Have you ever tried it though? If you find a situation where a guy could be considered creepy in her eyes and joke about it she will respond positively. It's what women do with each other anyways -- talk shit about guys they aren't attracted to and enjoy their sense of selectivity. In her mind it makes her think you are more socially suave (like she supposedly is by the mere fact she is a female).

Personally I think it's all bullshit and usually the guy isn't that bad at all but this is how women think.


No. I find only shallow and bitchy girls do this. I find most girls don't really do this around guys - especially the cute and down to earth ones. I hate this kind of behaviour - when my guy friends rip on randoms they don't know, its annoying and I see it as a strong insecurity. Its womanish behaviour. I find negativity turns women off as well. Maybe i'll give it a try - sometimes I do it in a joking fashion (e.g. lol look at that guys fruity shirt). But I never rip a guy on his looks.

Being a, dateless, kiss less, hug-less-incel can be more psychologically damaging.

Watmate wrote:
Fabie wrote:

no

warped was right,
if a girl accepts a date with you then flake, it's not your looks,it's something about you/ your personality/ the girl can't connect with you/ she finds you are not her type/she is turned off

once a girl accepts a date is because she is partially interested/ you passed the looks test
when a girl accepts a date she will be not expecting you to be a millionaire, she have been calculated your M value before


Lol. You can't be serious. First off, how can she flake on you because of your personality if doesn't even know you that well to begin with. Looks are almost everything in dating bro. I've never found my self not connected to a girl I didn't find physically attractive. Every girl I found good looking was a girl I wanted to see again - this may not be true if her personality was absolutely horrible, which is not true for most girls as they have normal personalities. Same applies for guys. Except girls are much picker with looks - I'll take almost anything I can get that isn't deformed and with a slim body.

I met most of these girls in clubs/bars aka its night time and some alcohol is involved. I probably looked decent to them. Then they see me during the day, the probably think "eh, this guy isn't really hot at all." Girls ranged from average to cute to decently attractive.


believe me, if a girl accepts a date with you ie you and her going for a drink or so....is because she partially likes your looks and she is partially interested....: GIRLS DON'T LIKE LOST TIME

but in the date you act like a clown or you act like an idiot then the girl is turned off and of course she will disappear or flake after the date
also can happen that you act correctly but the girl realizes you are not her style/type : game over too



Dealing with all the flaking and wasted time/effort does become psychologically damaging after a while, there's no escaping that fact. I don't think girls will flake if you're very attractive. Do you think she' would flake on a date with Chad Thundercock? Fuck no! She knows if she flakes, then he'll be pounding some other girl later that night. If she's flaking, she finds you ugly and was simply trying to use you for the free dinners. There's no shortage of girls out there who have gone on the record for using men for free dinners at expensive restaurants.
Image

PuaKiller wrote:Dealing with all the flaking and wasted time/effort does become psychologically damaging after a while, there's no escaping that fact. I don't think girls will flake if you're very attractive. Do you think she' would flake on a date with Chad Thundercock? Fuck no! She knows if she flakes, then he'll be pounding some other girl later that night. If she's flaking, she finds you ugly and was simply trying to use you for the free dinners. There's no shortage of girls out there who have gone on the record for using men for free dinners at expensive restaurants.


Never took any girls to dinner. By flaking I mean we have already been on a date (as in a small drink) and she doesn't respond to go on a second one. Sometimes I try to be sexually aggressive and we do some stuff, but then after that she never contacts me again. Maybe she wants a bf - who knows.

Last girl I went on a date with was a non-primitive pretty girl with excellent grades (4.0 med school student) and seemed very traditional. I'm more edgy but tried to play the part of modest - anyways she told me she agreed to go on a second date with me and never replied back to my texts. I looked at her Facebook and her ex-boyfriend was a manlet (like 5 foot 9) while i'm 6 foot 3. Had a small belly and decent looking face.

Fabie wrote:
Watmate wrote:
Lol. You can't be serious. First off, how can she flake on you because of your personality if doesn't even know you that well to begin with. Looks are almost everything in dating bro. I've never found my self not connected to a girl I didn't find physically attractive. Every girl I found good looking was a girl I wanted to see again - this may not be true if her personality was absolutely horrible, which is not true for most girls as they have normal personalities. Same applies for guys. Except girls are much picker with looks - I'll take almost anything I can get that isn't deformed and with a slim body.

I met most of these girls in clubs/bars aka its night time and some alcohol is involved. I probably looked decent to them. Then they see me during the day, the probably think "eh, this guy isn't really hot at all." Girls ranged from average to cute to decently attractive.


believe me, if a girl accepts a date with you ie you and her going for a drink or so....is because she partially likes your looks and she is partially interested....: GIRLS DON'T LIKE LOST TIME

but in the date you act like a clown or you act like an idiot then the girl is turned off and of course she will disappear or flake after the date
also can happen that you act correctly but the girl realizes you are not her style/type : game over too


I want to beliievvvveee. But the thing is I'm very socialized, not a clown and am not an idiot. The only way is that I am not her type (but I am white, 6 foot 3 and decent looking with good style) - so I fit the prototype for most girls. Sometimes I am sexually aggressive but sometimes I am not and still get flakes.

Watmate wrote: Sometimes I try to be sexually aggressive and we do some stuff, but then after that she never contacts me again. Maybe she wants a bf - who knows.


This has happened to me before. Why exactly? Who knows. Occam's Razor says that you simply weren't good looking enough for her and that's the likely culprit in both your case and mine. It's also possible that she wants an actual BF and not just a hookup which could be true, but these days with women, you just don't know 90% of the time.

PuaKiller wrote:
Watmate wrote: Sometimes I try to be sexually aggressive and we do some stuff, but then after that she never contacts me again. Maybe she wants a bf - who knows.


This has happened to me before. Why exactly? Who knows. Occam's Razor says that you simply weren't good looking enough for her and that's the likely culprit in both your case and mine. It's also possible that she wants an actual BF and not just a hookup which could be true, but these days with women, you just don't know 90% of the time.


This is probably true. It's just too hard to swallow. And all these girls are relatively looks-matched with me (if you look at all the girls I've hooked up with, they are relatively in the same range) - I would gladly go on many more dates with any of them...but I guess I don't meet their standards.

It is reassuring to know that other men(even ones more attractive than myself, which I assume you are based on your description) also experience such absurd amounts of flaking. I always thought I was alone in just how torturous it is on my mental state.

Tuatara wrote:It is reassuring to know that other men(even ones more attractive than myself, which I assume you are based on your description) also experience such absurd amounts of flaking. I always thought I was alone in just how torturous it is on my mental state.


I legit think every one of my male friends has talked about flakes with me. Its fucking crazy. Even one of my really good friends has told me has gotten flaked on. I can't phantom how women complain about being single....I've been flaked on by girls objectively worse looking then me. I dunno if they were scared or something but point is they flaked and it fucking SUCKS. Flaking damages a man psyche. That's why most men don't approach

Ever look at a moderately attractive girls phone?

Legit 20 conversations with 10 of their females, 5 guys, 5 Facebook likes, 7 instagram likes from one photo within the minute...flaking is basically inevitable nowadays.

Fabie wrote:
Watmate wrote:
Lol. You can't be serious. First off, how can she flake on you because of your personality if doesn't even know you that well to begin with. Looks are almost everything in dating bro. I've never found my self not connected to a girl I didn't find physically attractive. Every girl I found good looking was a girl I wanted to see again - this may not be true if her personality was absolutely horrible, which is not true for most girls as they have normal personalities. Same applies for guys. Except girls are much picker with looks - I'll take almost anything I can get that isn't deformed and with a slim body.

I met most of these girls in clubs/bars aka its night time and some alcohol is involved. I probably looked decent to them. Then they see me during the day, the probably think "eh, this guy isn't really hot at all." Girls ranged from average to cute to decently attractive.



believe me, if a girl accepts a date with you ie you and her going for a drink or so....is because she partially likes your looks and she is partially interested....: GIRLS DON'T LIKE LOST TIME

but in the date you act like a clown or you act like an idiot then the girl is turned off and of course she will disappear or flake after the date
also can happen that you act correctly but the girl realizes you are not her style/type : game over too


we are never go to agree on this but IME there are *some* women who just serial daters who know perfectly well they can accept a date, and accept any freebies that come their way and still reject the guy -dating is rarely a LOSE situation for a female - I think the only time they can lose is when they choose poorly and some guy gets pissed and beats them up or dumps them in the middle of nowhere - I nearly did the latter with one girl...just a pricktease

datingisstupid wrote:Ever look at a moderately attractive girls phone?

Legit 20 conversations with 10 of their females, 5 guys, 5 Facebook likes, 7 instagram likes from one photo within the minute...flaking is basically inevitable nowadays.


Yup. They get so much attention and validation that they can fuck with your emotions and then date or flake on whoever they feel like. Its obviously like this for the attractive girls, but I wonder if it's a similar situation for the so called "shy" and "introverted" girls. The chick that blew me off/didn't want to meet up again was one of the so called "shy" types. Even they get tons of validation and go to clubs and whatnot.

Watmate wrote:Does anyone feel this way?

You try to meet women and connect with them or just form something, but most of them end up flaking. You keep putting in the effort, but the same thing keeps happening for the most part. You see girls that seem interested, but they just end up flaking. Its a vicious cycle. Then you finally meet one after 10 tries, she sticks around for a bit, but then she flakes. Dating is a vicious cycle for the average man. It can cause psychological distress and the effort is sometimes not worth it. You see guys like roosh v who post such cynical things - clearly they are heavily effected by the 100s of rejections they have faced throughout their life.

I don't date much for some time but when i was younger and more engaged in social activities i felt the same as you.What was the worst is when you go on a second date with a girl when things are usually getting intense is to witness her losing her focus and suddenly looking at some other guy in the corner and desperate attempts to switch back her attention towards you.Later you are going home alone trying to rationalize what the hell has happened and why she isn't responding any more.You see people getting laid without any difficulty,they just meet each other one night and voila tomorrow they are together,while you are becoming a clown in order for some girl to like you.Competition is fierce,when you enter a cafe with your potential gf you are competing against other more confident and good looking guys,your ego is crushed if you invest your time in her and she is going with someone else at the end of the day.

PuaKiller wrote:
datingisstupid wrote:Ever look at a moderately attractive girls phone?

Legit 20 conversations with 10 of their females, 5 guys, 5 Facebook likes, 7 instagram likes from one photo within the minute...flaking is basically inevitable nowadays.


Yup. They get so much attention and validation that they can fuck with your emotions and then date or flake on whoever they feel like. Its obviously like this for the attractive girls, but I wonder if it's a similar situation for the so called "shy" and "introverted" girls. The chick that blew me off/didn't want to meet up again was one of the so called "shy" types. Even they get tons of validation and go to clubs and whatnot.


even average and below average girls get at least 10 times the attention their equivalent male does - Once I witnessed a 4/10 young asian girl go through her dating stuff within a minute and she literally ignored 20 plus messages - they really do not give a fuck - average men are more disposable than tampons to them

I almost LOL when girls say they have it hard - its complete BS

i think the main thing which is damaging is simply that it requires a LOT of effort (if you are average looking or worse) to get a vaguely presentable GF...its like the mental equivalent of doing that iron man thing whereas for women its not even an effort at all - the inequality in dating is gutting - tbh I am nearing the end of a spell of "gaming" online and I'm just tired of it again - you just end up arguing with stupid attention seeking bitches and the bad vibe it generates lingers with your dealings with the minority of women that are actually worthwhile

PuaKiller wrote:
datingisstupid wrote:Ever look at a moderately attractive girls phone?

Legit 20 conversations with 10 of their females, 5 guys, 5 Facebook likes, 7 instagram likes from one photo within the minute...flaking is basically inevitable nowadays.


Yup. They get so much attention and validation that they can fuck with your emotions and then date or flake on whoever they feel like. Its obviously like this for the attractive girls, but I wonder if it's a similar situation for the so called "shy" and "introverted" girls. The chick that blew me off/didn't want to meet up again was one of the so called "shy" types. Even they get tons of validation and go to clubs and whatnot.



I find all girls the same. I've been on dates with girls with serious "feminist' views (according to their Facebook), with girls who were pre-med and shy and reserved; they all pull the same shit. Thats why so many manosphere blogs are bitter towards women - the constant rejection and flakiness destroys a man. I don't hate women but I'm definitely fed up of dealing with the dating scene. I imagine it was much easier 10-15 years ago without social media. Even the shy and reserved girls that seem more traditional pull the EXACT same shit. Now move up to a sociable extroverted girl (forget her looks), and its a new ball game.

I kid you not, I went on a date with this girl who was in a gender studies degree - she was a feminist. We went to a club after drinks and she ends up talking with other guys after I go to the washroom. She ended up leaving without me and going home.

Watmate wrote:
PuaKiller wrote:
Yup. They get so much attention and validation that they can fuck with your emotions and then date or flake on whoever they feel like. Its obviously like this for the attractive girls, but I wonder if it's a similar situation for the so called "shy" and "introverted" girls. The chick that blew me off/didn't want to meet up again was one of the so called "shy" types. Even they get tons of validation and go to clubs and whatnot.


I find all girls the same. I've been on dates with girls with serious "feminist' views (according to their Facebook), with girls who were pre-med and shy and reserved; they all pull the same shit. Thats why so many manosphere blogs are bitter towards women - the constant rejection and flakiness destroys a man. I don't hate women but I'm definitely fed up of dealing with the dating scene. I imagine it was much easier 10-15 years ago without social media. Even the shy and reserved girls that seem more traditional pull the EXACT same shit. Now move up to a sociable extroverted girl (forget her looks), and its a new ball game.

I kid you not, I went on a date with this girl who was in a gender studies degree - she was a feminist. We went to a club after drinks and she ends up talking with other guys after I go to the washroom. She ended up leaving without me and going home.

This will be a TLDR sorry

well I'm in my 40s so can tell you about that period...basically it was the same for dating in social circles, through clubs, friends etc etc...but what was different was that online dating in its current state simply did not exist

In those times the equivalent of online dating was personal ads in newspapers and computer dating...the latter makes Match POF and OKCupid seem ridiculously good. Because the media used was print you rarely got any photos of girls so you had to rely on a description...I used to reply to personal ads and did computer dating but I actually got tired of the natural time delay in the whole thing - remember this was the pre internet era and so it was by regular mail - slow

A natural pattern would be to contact a girl from an ad exchange a few letters and arrange to meet - invariably it would fail when they asked to see what I looked like and would have to send a photo... :( a few times girls would continue and I would arrange to meet - I rarely used to ask for photos of them (sometimes thats a big mistake, sometimes not) - I got used to meeting girls "blind" and through brute force overcame some shyness in the process.

With computer dating in those days you used to pay to register and then pay for a list of 5 or 6 girls to contact - basically you would have just a name. phone number and/or postal address - in the early stages of the internet they changed this to some email box number or something...anyway I would do the same thing...write to the girl a few times and suggest meeting...I hated using the phone to directly call girls but bit the bullet and used the numbers when they were given - it used to piss me off that people were always out or no longer looking for someone - I still remember some girl bluntly saying she was not interested as she did not like my voice!- I did speak to girls and at the latter stages I just used to chat for a short time and arrange to meet blind just to speed up the process - In retrospect I am genuinely surprised by the number of girls I actually met "blind" over a 2 year period - I met some okay lookers, a few fuglies, a few weird looking chicks and 2 really cute girls - one French student living in London who was just sweet looking but invariably the girls had issues and were often just difficult. There was a good reason they were doing computer dating as they tended to be high maintenance

You would get the same BS as nowadays that they would expect to be wined and dined...which being a sap I did for a short while, then quickly wised up that it was getting nowhere so I moved to just a drink and a chat type of date

I did meet a couple of girls whom I saw a few times - one really sweet chubby black girl and a weird-ish looking blonde. That was probably my worst experience in dating. We had seen each other twice and on the 3rd meet we had a drink and then I got invited back to her place...we had a drink and started to listen to music so I made a move...and then she freaked out and said she'd call the police and went kind of crazy...I just got the fuck out of there asap but it really knocked my confidence of making moves with girls for a long time

in terms of flakes they seemed less frequent maybe I am forgetting them - maybe people were more open to dating then, who knows? in terms of genuine girls I think its the same - I did the impression some girls were just dating to get free drinks, meals, movies, whatever - I got a few LJBF BS responses after dates which I never took up

IMHO the thing which has changed the dating arena is NOT POF or any other online stuff but the mobile apps for them! - girls can be out and about receiving attention 24/7 at least in the old days they'd have to be at home bored shitless and online - I think in the last 4 years its got very bad - i tend to just make fun of girls online now as its got to the massive joke stage

History lesson over

Every single thing he has said has been happening to me the past 2 months ive been trying to interact with girls.

stamaster21 wrote:Every single thing he has said has been happening to me the past 2 months ive been trying to interact with girls.


women do not change - in the decades of dating on and off I havent noticed any significant changes in attitude (still flaky as fuck, still give vague answers, still well doing exactly what they have done for millenia) - the availability of constant attention through phone apps IS the biggest thing and its a BAD BAD thing - girls are addicted to phones and I swear if I am on a date or meeting a woman and she starts to pull her phone out I'll probably grab the thing and smash it to pieces :evil: :evil: :evil:

I find that there's a high correlation between testosterone levels in men and women being devoted to you (note: as long as you treat her good). When I had low testosterone, I could get girls due to some luck, but after a while, they left me. Now after injecting reasonable TRT dosage of testosterone, I get girls and they stick with me. I only have issues with facial bloat due to cortisol on TRT.

Haha with the phone thing all i see is attractive women on campus with there phones .As for the flaking-ness this happens because you need to be at least a point above her,she might be receptive if your 5-6 but she wont take you serously. Women want men better then them a guy they can show off.

stamaster21 wrote:Haha with the phone thing all i see is attractive women on campus with there phones .As for the flaking-ness this happens because you need to be at least a point above her,she might be receptive if your 5-6 but she wont take you serously. Women want men better then them a guy they can show off.


i think you have to accept that a lot of girls treat dates/meets far different than men - they can get them so easily that its meaningless to them if they flake...one assumption that girls make which I think rarely gets fed back to them is their assumption that a females experience of dating is the same as a man's experience...they wrongly assume that because they are getting dozens of men showing interest that its the same for us :lol: ...of course it does not help when you get BS-ing men claiming that they have dozens of females showing interest - just go on a regular messageboard about dating and there will ALWAYS be some guy claiming to be an alpha
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